Looking forward to a birthday on Chemo......

We checked the blood work today and got a quick "doing good" from the Cancer Center.

We collected the Temodar, then went into a room with a coordinator to do one more "testing". Oddly enough, my left side of my brain is taking control....and I've always been a right side of the brain girl....

☺

Friday, I get the MRI followed by the neurosurgeon visit. Here's hoping the brain is doing what it's supposed to....which is "getting better".



(Friday, May 19)

It's getting better!  Hooray!

For those who like to see "evidence", here's a shot of my brain - one from February 6 of this year and one from today. The evidence from the MRI shows that the smaller of the two - from February - still showed a lot of the little "creepers" still reacting to the contrast they inject mid-MRI. Today's contrast showed a lot more of them disappearing.

One more thing before I show you this photo: it's been reversed so that it shows the left side of the brain on the left and the right side of the brain on the right. Contrary to the way the MRI shows things (in reverse), I prefer to have the left of my head represented by the left side photo.

It's OCD. I know it is....

But I want to have my left brain be on the left side.....

*grin*

Sensing Season Seven Is Going To Suck

Do you ever have premonitions?

No, not the kind that you're being wed to the Lord of the Rings, but the regular ones.....
the ones that you're the one in charge and you need to have xxxx in order to reach nirvana today,

Yeah, I'm having a week that is firmly saying "Yeah, don't count on that".

I have all my pills, in the pill vial for the proper time for this week. I'm talking them at the surmised hours....

But it feels like holy hell is waiting.....

I'll have to keep you up on it.

This is Debi. you're bloggette, and it's 4/21,

Sleep well.


Day Two (Tuesday):

Vomiting in the middle of the night! Yeah! Hurray!

*sensing you can hear the sarcasm*

Oh well. It's appeared to be kind of a blah day, so....

Movies it is!


Day Three (Wednesday)

So far, so good. I seem to be "settling in" now.

So, why does it feel like everything is happening behind my left ear???

*smh*


Day Four (Thursday)

Up at "The Witching Hour", 3 a.m., and still very upset, but still at a loss at to what I did to upset Bill - short of EVERYTHING. (This is why Chemo Week is always so much FUN. I'm trying to take enough of everything to do it's job, deal with the extra crap that comes with it - i.e. the nausea, the vomiting, the "chief of everything bad that can happen" stuff AND, obviously, deal with the husband who's losing his mind over the stuff HE'S having troubles with.....)

I'm hoping for a day of sunlight, as being cooped up all day doesn't help. All I've done is sleep.....


Day Five (Friday)

The official "Last Day for Temodar"..... which means a few more days of random itchies.

Officially, it's a "last day for the overhead cloudage"....but I don't see that happening. This cloudy weather seems to happen on days I probably shouldn't go too far....and this trip. the Temodar seems to be centering on my left ear and it's direct routes. Having nothing untul driving the Girl Child to work, I think I'll go lay down for a while......

Hopefully, this results in the ear being "cured". It's had Tinnitis for several years....at least since 1988....


Day Sixth - the leftover's are (hopefully) done...

The only reason I'm here instead of replenishing groceries is simple:

I couldn't do a full aisle without having to sit down. Maybe in a day or two, but not today.....

As most other months, I'll feel a little more "well" every day for the next three weeks, and then it Temodar time again. Too bad that the weather is "iffy" again this week......

Oh well, Thank you for sharing "a week in the life". It's a sad week. but oh well. I'll get over it.

Photographs and Memories

"Photographs and memories
All the love you gave to me
Somehow it just can't be true
That's all I've left of you" - Jim Croce

My mom likes to choose when she decides to give me something. She chose this weekend, when her family was together for the Laflamme Family Reunion (dedicated to her mom and dad, both passed away) that she wanted to pass on Dad's photo albums and his three yearbooks....

After all, I'm the one who's been seeking out the genealogy since he died of Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 1980.

I was NOT ready for this little bit of "family memory".

The photos are typical for young family members, pictures of happy times and happy people. The sad thing is these pictures, mostly of Dad and his sister, Caroline, who was 8 years older, chronicle the happy years on the family farm. Both would be dead before the 80's.

There are also a couple that I suspect are of his sister's, Lillian, Ninette and Lovina. Ninette was the first to pass at 24, having been married at 14. He would have been only 7 when she passed.

And of course, the pictures of my dad, happy and healthy, well before any of us had cancers.....

Those are the best and the worst pics.

Looking for Mr. Goodbar (or at least someone who wants to help me MAKE money)

I've been cheerfully "The Northern Bard" since I first was introduced to Tripod by a friend of mine while I was going into a chat room called QCC. I've faithfully kept them up on everything I've been doing, from changing my email whenever Yahoo needed changing to adding in my own business when I couldn't get the HTML to work on any other sites...so I've gone to the monthly fee for the amount of space I take up to sell books.

My last check that everything was still working was in June, just before my first of two surgeries, in 2016. Everything was working that day, so I went into the hospital with all going well.

In December, I was reminded that my credit card was due to expire - and I went through HELL trying to get them to switch to something that had no fees. By the time I had them ready to shut the whole mess down, someone came up with the proper way to make thier system recognize my new card and allow me to destroy the old one...

And I started paying again, but I didn't check everything....and I guess I should have, as I've got them ready to cancel by the 25th unless my emails work again by then....

You see, I tried to "test" everything on Monday, and my sound bites weren't working (they wanted to download only), my email wasn't working, my guestbooks were toast, and some of the Next/Return Home buttons weren't visible. I spent most of Tuesday correcting things, double-checked that my HTML was correct, and, with everything except the email corrected, I sent an email to the server asking if they had changed the program and proceeded to test the emails, as Yahoo had a hacker loose in December, so I wanted to make sure everything was working on our end. Everything works, according to the site that checks the email.

But nothing from Tripod.

So yesterday, I went in and removed my credit card. They sent a survey, and I let them know that the monthly fee INCLUDES an email and that I wasn't paying for anything more until they made my email work.

And I repeated that this morning - that when my site works, they get paid.

And I'm apt to go in EVERY day until they fix it.

*sending bad karma to Tripod*

If you're trying to email me about my web site, or something you see there, try me at debi_emmons@yahoo.com 

If you're trying to email me about anything you've written that you would like me to look at or you would like to purchase a book, debi.emmons.author@gmail.com

As soon as Tripod/Lycos responds, I'll either remove this post - or add on a link to the new HTML site I'm looking into....

UPDATE 3/21: STILL nothing from Tripod except for some yutz wanting more info - and considering that he's the first one all week who mailed me ANYTHING, he's probably holding his head as we speak, trying to get the email to work.....

But there was one more "kibosh" to deal with, as I had to give my name, the last four of my SS number, and all that rot SIX TIMES for my husband to be able to get PayPal to speak to him, transfer his call to a supervisor - AND ALL SIX TIMES, HE WAS PUT BACK INTO THE QUE TO START AGAIN. Luckily, that final person had the decency to help Bill out, but I'm in DEEP shite, because the PayPal was to help out my business (writing books and doing other publishing stuff). I was hoping for a LOT more income from the books, so I had allowed myself to "live large" - and now I have to go through and take PayPal OFF all the places I had it.

Instead of helping me to "take payments anywhere", PayPal has just taken over the #1 position of "this credit card is the first one to go".

Thank you, Tripod and PayPal. I was looking forward to continuing to write, but you've taken that all away from me.


SUCCESS!  (3/31/18) Tripos/Lycos has made my email work!  HUZZAH!

Now I'm ready for the Next Time! 

Multidemantional

Fine name for a post....and it kind of suits. This is a multidemantional kind of post....

Starting with Chemo #5.

Yeah. Sorry, but even with the proper chemicals, it's still no fun. Nausea, diahhrea, itchiness, mild headache....but, happily, I'm one of the lucky ones! I only go two to three days of it at the end of each cycle instead of having to go into the hospital once a month!

And what is going on in the White House?

I've never heard of ANY President getting away with ANY of the things he's done in so short a time - and the REPUBLICANS LET HIM GET AWAY WITH IT! Not only are they letting him bring up all kinds of brick-a-brack about his opponent (who WON the popular vote, but lost the Electoral College) despite the fact that the "emails from Russia" she was accused of disappeared without a trace as soon as he won, but they let him get away with unsubstantiated Tweets from his CELL PHONE. (Wasn't that part of the "Hillary Used Her Own Phone For Emails" thing that supposedly was such a no-no? Shouldn't the President be able to give up his Tweets for the four years?)

I just don't understand that EVERYTHING that was "no-no" for a Democrat is "well done" for a Republican.

Speaking of, do any of you realize that our two opposing forces in the House and Senate have changed their names to oppose/support whatever it is that we, the People of the United States, would wish?

For instance, we started off as Whigs and Tories, according to the Revolutionary War. The Whigs were against English rule and the Tories were for staying with Britain. (Several of the Tories packed up and moved to what is now Canada when the British fell.)

Next was the U.S. Federalist Party (Pro-Administrative Party) which supported the Constitution, and the Anti-Federalist Party (Anti-Administrative Party), which opposed the Constitution. When the Constitution was admitted and we had a President, the Federalist Party was opposed to the Democratic Republican Party (formerly the Anti-Federalist Party).

Confused yet? We haven't even started!

During the 1830's, the Vice President, John Calhoun, had a break with President Andrew Jackson - and let me tell you, everything got difficult. Calhoun started running a group called the Nullifiers, who joined with the National Republican party and formed the US Whigs in 1834. Jackson had his own set of people, the Jacksonians, who became the Democrats by 1834. (And we think we have a coup de grace NOW? At least the VP hasn't tried to take over - yet....)

The Republicans (mostly the non-slave owners of the north) and the Democrats (the slave owners from the south) were joined by the Freedman (freed slaves who joined the north) while white southerners (Redeemers) joined the Democrats. We've continued to use those two parties, but somewhere around 1930's, the demographics in the parties changed.

When Franklin D. Roosevelt was President, when the New Deal was introduced, the Democrats became very Liberal, accepting that people are people and things are things. The Republicans were split between a conservative wing, led by Senator Taft, and a moderate wing led by the Rockefellers and their ilk. The more popular moderate wing died out somewhere around 1964, and there's some debate as to whether or not there is another "generation" or whether we've just continued on.

You know the one thing I found out when researching this?

The Constitution called for a Senate and a House of Representatives, and it goes well into their duties, but it doesn't dictate what to do with a daft President short of Impeachment and it doesn't call for there only being two parties to choose from. Along with the Green Party candidates and the Independent candidates who've been making themselves more and more prominent, it DOESN'T limit you to a process in which you have a Democrat and a Republican duking it out on a public stage UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO!

I do feel the need to "Drain The Swamp" and get rid of the politicians who are more concerned with their bank accounts than what their constituents - and the WORLD - need them to accomplish, but it seems we HAVE to listen to "The Government".

But what if The Government has their heads so far up their own self-righteous butts to listen to We The People? What do we do to re-create all of the above to either get the Democrats and the Republicans to listen to the Independence and the Green Party, whose candidates are MUCH more in league with the People and are as eager to get the millionaires and billionaires OUT of The Government?

I think people should stop listening to the Cheeto Burrito and his Cabinet of Scum and start looking around for the people who LISTEN.

I think we should tell all of Washington that We The People want The House and The Senate to stop looking for the next billion and start looking at the People - and the fact that, while the 1% may rule Washington today, We The People want what was promised: TO DRAIN THE SWAMP!

I think We The People should REMIND the people who represent us in Washington that WE RULE AND THEY DROOL!

Look Master. A new brain is forming!

Friday night, I finished my fourth round of Chemo.

Monday morning, I got another MRI followed by a visit to the Neurologist. I don't know if she realized this was going to happen, but it was beautifully done.

But let me step back one step, as I was upset enough by my third Chemo to have already been in touch about the medications....

You see, back in 2002, I started as a receptionist for a local veterinarian. One of the first things you learn is that, when printing a label for the customer's owner, you always obey the doctor's orders as to what it is they're taking, how many pills, etc. right down to how many are in that bottle. If the animal is taking more than one prescription, such as a cat that has renal failure, the directions should specify WHEN the animal takes the drug.

For ten years, I was the first one informed if we "screwed up" and the animal was deceased because the owner was "following directions".

Now, any of you who have been keeping track know that I've been taking Keppra and Phenytoin since leaving the hospital. The directions from the Neurologist had me taking 4 Keppra and 1 Phenytoin just before bed. Then the Chemo doctors told me that "most patients take the Temodar at bedtime", but my brain objected. Between the pill that was supposed to prevent nausea being taken a half an hour before bed and the others that were "at bedtime", I'd be taking NINE pills at bedtime...and who would guarantee that I was going to wake up?

That's where the Neurologist came in.

She's was put in charge in August, when I first went to the Cancer Center. When we have a drug problem, she's the final say. Therefore, when I had a problem with the nine pills they seemed quite happy with having me take at bedtime, I reminded the doctor of my second visit with my mom, when she had gotten more than enough about my migraines, how that effects my nausea, etc., etc., etc.

She got a schedule worked out over the phone with my husband that worked really well.

She confirmed that, when the anti-nausea meds were CAUSING nausea, that I had the right idea to take the "alternate" medicine.

And it helped to have her see the rash that the last three Chemo rounds have left me with. (She's ordering a slightly smaller dose to see if that helps.)

But it's the MRI that is really impressive, particularly since she likes to put the last visits MRI vs this one. Last time, I still had a sizeable "pit". This time, it's half that size and, as she scanned up and down on the images, there's more and more that just looks like normal, healthy brain.

And here I thought that only lizards could regrow themselves....

The Conspiracy Theorists

I've just recently gone through my Facebook pages to get rid of all the "Negative Nancy's" who, for reasons all their own, believe that EVERYTHING the government does is WRONG.

Here's an example, which I was about 8 years old when that famous line: "It's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11

Now,  NASA just released photos that they claim shows the moon missions (https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/LRO/news/apollo-sites.html) and I can tell you, from my cousin Tim's observation as well as my own, that the brief view of the Earth in the helmet just before that famous line had Tim all excited about Space Exploration. If he'd still been alive when the Challenger blew up, he might have been there with them...

And if you want to blow up at me because I DON'T believe the anti-NASA propangada - or that someone else was responsible for JFK's murder - or that, every time a plane takes off, it's emitting vapor trails that are killing us, go to your favorite word program, type me a letter - and then delete it, because that's how much I care to listen to that. The American History may span less than 550 years so far, but you can't rewrite history because something your family did (or didn't do) doesn't figure in your scheme of life and the history books are against you....

Like the Burning of the Witches, or the Black Plague, or the Crusades, or any one of a number of things we, as people, allowed to happen...

And CONTINUE to allow to happen....

When are we, as Americans, going to stop living in fear of the "other countries" trying to get our stuff, even to the point that you take a good look around, realize that your friends and neighbors AREN'T running some "Conspiracy" against you, and realize that, if you want peace and unity, YOU have to put out some effort for it?

As our Maine Governor likes to point out, it's not "people from away coming in to sell drugs and get our girl's pregnant", it's the people right next door "selling drugs and getting our girl's pregnant". If we stopped trying to right the world and started with my street, my community, my state, then pretty soon, the good you do in your little street will grow.

If you stop whining on Facebook and Twitter about the homeless and took a homeless person a blanket, a hot drink and something to eat, wouldn't the homeless benefit?

If you rescue a dog or a cat, even to getting the pet into a shelter so it can be adopted, wouldn't the homeless pet benefit?

And if you stop whining that "history was a bunch of conspiracies" and defending yourself to get out there and DO something beneficial, who's it going to hurt? Maybe your pocketbook, just a little, when you take it out and give a little.

But what happens to the millionaires and billionaires that Washington puts "in charge"?

If one buys locally (putting the "big box" stores out of business), the millionaires and billionaires will find their income drastically shrinking. The Tax Write-Offs that our President-elect promised them will shrink. The "big money" will matter less, should we stop our bickering and SHARE this United States. All the people in Washington will have to DO AS PROMISED and Drain The Swamp.

Speaking of, how many of you have a job that is almost $200,000 per year, health and benefits included, that get to KEEP that job until you die? Not just the big bucks, but the health and benefits part too? And here in MAINE, Governor LePage is CUTTING BACK ALL FORMS OF BENEFITS FOR THE HOMELESS AND THE DISABLED! (Which includes yours truly, who will be getting disablity for the next year, while the Chemotherapy makes me talk like Elmer Fudd on Valium.)

So, if you're a conspiracy theorist, DON'T be in touch.

If you truly want to make a difference in this world, take another look at your neighborhood and think about what YOU can do to make a difference. If we stop whining, maybe we'll make a difference.