Look Master. A new brain is forming!

Friday night, I finished my fourth round of Chemo.

Monday morning, I got another MRI followed by a visit to the Neurologist. I don't know if she realized this was going to happen, but it was beautifully done.

But let me step back one step, as I was upset enough by my third Chemo to have already been in touch about the medications....

You see, back in 2002, I started as a receptionist for a local veterinarian. One of the first things you learn is that, when printing a label for the customer's owner, you always obey the doctor's orders as to what it is they're taking, how many pills, etc. right down to how many are in that bottle. If the animal is taking more than one prescription, such as a cat that has renal failure, the directions should specify WHEN the animal takes the drug.

For ten years, I was the first one informed if we "screwed up" and the animal was deceased because the owner was "following directions".

Now, any of you who have been keeping track know that I've been taking Keppra and Phenytoin since leaving the hospital. The directions from the Neurologist had me taking 4 Keppra and 1 Phenytoin just before bed. Then the Chemo doctors told me that "most patients take the Temodar at bedtime", but my brain objected. Between the pill that was supposed to prevent nausea being taken a half an hour before bed and the others that were "at bedtime", I'd be taking NINE pills at bedtime...and who would guarantee that I was going to wake up?

That's where the Neurologist came in.

She's was put in charge in August, when I first went to the Cancer Center. When we have a drug problem, she's the final say. Therefore, when I had a problem with the nine pills they seemed quite happy with having me take at bedtime, I reminded the doctor of my second visit with my mom, when she had gotten more than enough about my migraines, how that effects my nausea, etc., etc., etc.

She got a schedule worked out over the phone with my husband that worked really well.

She confirmed that, when the anti-nausea meds were CAUSING nausea, that I had the right idea to take the "alternate" medicine.

And it helped to have her see the rash that the last three Chemo rounds have left me with. (She's ordering a slightly smaller dose to see if that helps.)

But it's the MRI that is really impressive, particularly since she likes to put the last visits MRI vs this one. Last time, I still had a sizeable "pit". This time, it's half that size and, as she scanned up and down on the images, there's more and more that just looks like normal, healthy brain.

And here I thought that only lizards could regrow themselves....

The Conspiracy Theorists

I've just recently gone through my Facebook pages to get rid of all the "Negative Nancy's" who, for reasons all their own, believe that EVERYTHING the government does is WRONG.

Here's an example, which I was about 8 years old when that famous line: "It's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_11

Now,  NASA just released photos that they claim shows the moon missions (https://www.nasa.gov/mission_pages/LRO/news/apollo-sites.html) and I can tell you, from my cousin Tim's observation as well as my own, that the brief view of the Earth in the helmet just before that famous line had Tim all excited about Space Exploration. If he'd still been alive when the Challenger blew up, he might have been there with them...

And if you want to blow up at me because I DON'T believe the anti-NASA propangada - or that someone else was responsible for JFK's murder - or that, every time a plane takes off, it's emitting vapor trails that are killing us, go to your favorite word program, type me a letter - and then delete it, because that's how much I care to listen to that. The American History may span less than 550 years so far, but you can't rewrite history because something your family did (or didn't do) doesn't figure in your scheme of life and the history books are against you....

Like the Burning of the Witches, or the Black Plague, or the Crusades, or any one of a number of things we, as people, allowed to happen...

And CONTINUE to allow to happen....

When are we, as Americans, going to stop living in fear of the "other countries" trying to get our stuff, even to the point that you take a good look around, realize that your friends and neighbors AREN'T running some "Conspiracy" against you, and realize that, if you want peace and unity, YOU have to put out some effort for it?

As our Maine Governor likes to point out, it's not "people from away coming in to sell drugs and get our girl's pregnant", it's the people right next door "selling drugs and getting our girl's pregnant". If we stopped trying to right the world and started with my street, my community, my state, then pretty soon, the good you do in your little street will grow.

If you stop whining on Facebook and Twitter about the homeless and took a homeless person a blanket, a hot drink and something to eat, wouldn't the homeless benefit?

If you rescue a dog or a cat, even to getting the pet into a shelter so it can be adopted, wouldn't the homeless pet benefit?

And if you stop whining that "history was a bunch of conspiracies" and defending yourself to get out there and DO something beneficial, who's it going to hurt? Maybe your pocketbook, just a little, when you take it out and give a little.

But what happens to the millionaires and billionaires that Washington puts "in charge"?

If one buys locally (putting the "big box" stores out of business), the millionaires and billionaires will find their income drastically shrinking. The Tax Write-Offs that our President-elect promised them will shrink. The "big money" will matter less, should we stop our bickering and SHARE this United States. All the people in Washington will have to DO AS PROMISED and Drain The Swamp.

Speaking of, how many of you have a job that is almost $200,000 per year, health and benefits included, that get to KEEP that job until you die? Not just the big bucks, but the health and benefits part too? And here in MAINE, Governor LePage is CUTTING BACK ALL FORMS OF BENEFITS FOR THE HOMELESS AND THE DISABLED! (Which includes yours truly, who will be getting disablity for the next year, while the Chemotherapy makes me talk like Elmer Fudd on Valium.)

So, if you're a conspiracy theorist, DON'T be in touch.

If you truly want to make a difference in this world, take another look at your neighborhood and think about what YOU can do to make a difference. If we stop whining, maybe we'll make a difference.

Getting Ready to Fight a Lawyer....

When I first got home from the hospital, I started trying to apply for SSDI. This turns out to be a moot point, because although one would expect that the papers one would wish to fill out to be on the SSDI site, THEY DON'T EXIST.

What one DOES find oneself doing is a "can you qualify for SSDI" - which, strangely, appears to be TAKEN OFF the internet for the Law Office of Robert J. Levine.

This law office is BOGUS! If one accepts their "you qualify" phone call and one lets them "get started", they'll ask for 25% of Social Security (which the Social Security Office itself claims there IS no "lawyer fee" taken out each week), they'll tell Social Security that you DON'T have any form of short term disability (which I WAS getting through Cigna right up until THIS WEEK), and basically SCREW you in order to MAKE that 25% fee THAT THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO!

In other words, I may be taking this to Joe Bornstein to have these idiots dis-barred in the State of Maine.

GRRRRRR!

It's NOT enough to have something the size of a baseball taken out of my head.

It's NOT enough to be hindered in my job because all the things that I went on vacation able to do.

It's NOT enough to be unable to work, not because I don't WANT to work, but I am unable to so those things that I really NEED to do.....

No! THAT isn't enough.

I have to have some DIPSTICK lawyers office INSIST that they "represent" me for this - WHICH THEY DIDN'T DO A THING FOR SHORT OF INSIST THAT I HAD ALREADY GIVEN NOTICE (I'm working on my "letter of resignation" as we speak), and wants 25% of the money that I ALREADY PAID IN!

So, if you've come across "Do you qualify" information and have gotten any notice from Robert J. Levine, TURN THEM IN TO YOUR LOCAL SSDI OFFICE! They INSIST that there's a "lawyers fee" that Social Security DOES NOT TAKE.

Go DIRECTLY to the Social Security office or CALL THEM DIRECTLY to get the PROPER forms.

DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH ROBERT J. LEVINE!

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to find the Law Offices of Joe Bornstein and see if these people can be disbarred in Maine.......

What day is it today?

The result of increased Temodor, which imitates a migraine, making one vomit intermittently (but never a pill) was, for one as accustomed to migraines as I, simply bad time for a migraine. I took my pills, tried my best to combat the one day (or, in this case, two days) that I seemed not able to keep down the meal for an hour (just enough to suction all moisture out).

Bad combination when on this drug.

So, after my husband being kind enough to check with the nurses (while I slept after my first pill of the day), drive me to an appointment, stay with me through it all, pick out a tree at our favorite farm stand, get my perscription, and settle me back in (with an EXTREME rash because my body was just starting to react to the extreme medications when we first got to the hospital), and let me get proper sleep, he TRULY deserves added vacations because of me!

Wanna see what "too much medication" does? (No monkey business, guys, as this is a fashionable length for my loosest nightie here.)

*le sigh*

Funny thing is that I can't, for the life of me, get this to come out in a mirror image or a selfie. (In other words, I can see this on my body, but when I look in the mirror, I look normal.....and the camera/phone doesn't see this in the mirror......weird......)

Another thing is it's already 13 days until I've got to have packages wrapped for the grandkids to open. Thank goodness Grampa has one day this weekend for us to do it all - or as much as he can do with me. Hopefully, in another day or two when I get the itchies under control, I can take a quick shopping for Grampa and get something for him that I know he'll like. (I think other things, like taking care of the weeds in the garden he's wanting to put in, will be part and parcel since I can't seem to go a whole day able to speak, so no job for me.)

Something tells me this is going to be a "gift certificate" year....

Blessed be, my lovelies, and may you NOT be shocked by anything after the "knee photo" above.

I'm Dreaming of a Bare Headed Christmas

December 1st was visit two to the Chemotherapy Team. I had recently re-read all of the "symptoms" I should be watching for....and wouldn't you know, the Temodar causes "hair loss".

*le sigh*

And here I thought I would be done with the post-radiation sort-of mohawk soon...

Now comes the next big decision: To let my sweetie give me another "buzz cut" to try to get the "peach fuzz" to grow in, or to go through Christmas with the slowly growing/somewhat screwy semblance to a mohawk?

But folks, that's not all!

Bill was informed when he went to the Cancer Center that the Temodar I was going to need would be AT the Cancer Center for the visit. The doctor increased the dosage (which is, we understand, typical for Chemo Two visits), we went to the pharmacy...and now I'm hoping for a Fedex package before Monday, when I'm supposed to start TAKING the Temodar....

*another sigh*

At this rate, I'm going to have to get a job at the Cancer Center so that the meds get ordered on time!  

"I Found You, Kunta Kinte!" (or something like that....)

My grandmother, Addie Francis Burrill Dow, always insisted that we had Indian blood - or at least, that was how she said it. It was before the whole "Native Americans" thing had come about, as she passed away when I was 6 in 1967, and the native population was still reeling after almost 300 years of being "the enemy". She didn't seem to know how far back that the blood ran, but she and several of her children had the darker skin, black hair and brown eyes that came with it.

When I lost my dad to lymphoma in 1980, I made my first attempt at finding my roots, spending hours in the Fogler Library at UMO studying "The Book of Dow". It was a somewhat failed attempt at "finding my roots" because of one simple word: "conjuncture".  It seems that Robert Piercy Dow, one year before my dad was born, had ruled James Parker Dow as the son of Alexander Dow of China, Maine "by conjuncture", as James had passed away in 1876, there were no other Dows in the area, so therefore he MUST belong to Alexander.....

I ignored the word "conjuncture", traced Charles Dow all the way to a Thomas Dow who arrived here in 1639, and I thought I was done.

Until my uncle told me that, to the best of his knowledge, James wasn't Alexander's son.

Back to square one, and when I wasn't getting anywhere on James, I started on Addie and her "indian blood", finding the Mayflower romance of John Alden and Priscilla Mullen leading to a Burrill marrying their granddaughter and a "founding fathers of Corinna" gig. Not much else was available online, the Maine State Historical Society and the Maine Room in the Portland Library got VERY tired of seeing me - and there was not one mention of any "natives" in what I had available.

In 2002, I joined Ancestry.com, hoping to find more information. On James Dow, there was nothing. But on my grandmother's tree.....

I've been slowly plodding along, seeing each member to "the Old Country" before I give up on that line. As my aunt told us many moons ago, I've found the Scottish ancestor, the English ancestor, the Irish ancestor, the French ancestor, a couple of unexpected Dutchmen.....

And then, pay dirt!

There I was, about to give it up for the night, when the name "Margaret Oinguina Diguina Wampanoag" caught my eye - married a full year before the Mayflower came to these shores. Her father, Quanequina Chief Wampanoag and mother, Ora Ova Diguina, appeared there with her. There was some mention of "the Chiefs fourth wife" giving birth to "Margaret", which I suspect was given to her as a "Christian Name" before she married Gabriel Wheldon.

I sat for several minutes before the news properly hit.

I had finally found the "native in the woodpile", as one uncle called her.

She had married an Englishman a year before the big "Mayflower run" in Plymouth.

She was Wampanoag, the daughter of the Chief.

She appears again in my Merrick line, as a Hopkins relative married into the Merrick line and produced yet another part of my family tree, but that's not unusual. It seems the Nickerson line produced a Nickerson grandson who married a great-granddaughter who was a Nickerson....

Anyone want some moonshine while I continue on with the intermingling of the Redneck Ancestors? *grin*

At any rate, I can now understand my grandmother's lack of attention to the Mayflower. Why be all "my ancestors came over on the Mayflower in 1620" when you had a relative living here by the time the Mayflower came in?

Ah, Addie, your mother taught you right. There were English settlers well before the Mayflower and you came from one of them who mated with a Wampanoag maiden.

Now if I can only find James' parents.......

UPDATE 6/8/17:

An email got me searching for Gabriel - and it appears that, if he DID marry "Margaret", she was a second wife - but that doesn't agree with the other times or other children.

I'm still searching for the "indian in the woodshed"......

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I'm trying to encourage myself to start the "Turkey Day" stuff by going out to the freezer and bringing in the bird so that it can start defrosting. (It comes in SO frozen from the store that I've discovered in years past that this is necessary.) I need to get the garbage to the dump as it rarely goes well trying to get it there for the first week past Thanksgiving. I blame Arlo Guthrie and his popular song that takes place over Thanksgiving.....

Any excuse in a storm.....

*grin*

And I need to list my Thanksgiving Menu so that I can properly mark stuff off as it gets started on Thanksgiving morning. (Another thing discovered in past years. Bill's family had traditions I had never heard of. My family had traditions his family had never heard of. Between the two of us, we've come up with a menu that works - and it really works best if I have a list so we don't forget something like the "drunken turkey" glaze like I did one year...

Of course, it helps that I'm starting my day with some baklava that my husband got for me at Masa.....

Any port in a storm.....

(Realizing I have two "in a storm" references, I sign out, partially to begin the day, but also to refresh my dictionary skills.....)