What I Did With My Summer Vacation....

I hate having to write something structured, something demanded, not by me, but by someone I have to deal with.  It doesn't matter what that structured page is.  I equally abhor the resume and the press release, the thesis and the creative writing assignment.  I particularly hated the first thing a lot of English teachers did, year after year, expecting great writing from a bunch of grade school kids forced to tell about a summer in which a lot of fun was had - but nothing that should be related to an adult.....

I am much more comfortable on those days when I can sit down, do a little stretch to get comfortable, and open a blank screen.  A deep breath or two, and a character steps forward.  I listen for a short time as they tell me their story, showing me pieces in my mind's eye - and then I begin.

Not so with the press release I'm currently trying to find the words for.

It's been a couple of years since the last press release.  It's not something I write on a regular basis, so I always have to do some reading before I begin.  What is the current trend for the information needed?  Does one include social media mentions on where fans can locate "the merchandise" (in this case, the author as the "product")? 

I have a list.  I have some ideas on how to present the information.  I go over the list again.  I sit down, I stretch, I open the blank page......and NOTHING.  Not a single word comes to me.

"Just the facts, ma'am." says a voice from the old show, Dragnet, in the back of my head.

I write the facts.  It's a couple of paragraphs.  It's as dry as a piece of cold toast.  The only ones who will be inspired by this are probably accountants, staring at numbers all day in a back room with no human contact all day....

"Sell it, girl!" I mutter to myself, and the only other thing that comes to mind is the old Snake Oil Salesman:  "Step right up!  Get your chance to buy this miracle elixir for all that ails ya!"

I am is SO much trouble right now!!