I'm trying hard to keep panic at bay as I prepare myself for the third doctor visit of five since February 12th....
The first visit to my new doctor, as I wanted one who wasn't going to just say "Take a PILL" (cue Mark Blankfield skit from Fridays: http://youtu.be/0ghh5yXlEaw), I was told that I was of that age that I needed some tests to happen. Because I've also been having some minor stomach pain - seemingly tied to the times that I opt to eat something like McDonalds instead of my normal Mediterranean-styled diet - she thought it a good idea, since my dad, an aunt, my grandmother and a cousin (all on the same side of the family) all died of a singular form of cancer that first appeared as a minor stomach issue, to arrange for an ultrasound just to be safe...
Before I left the office, I had blood drawn. Apart from a lack of red blood cells - possibly an infection I wasn't aware of - there was nothing to report.
The second visit was the ultrasound. Much to everyone's surprise, something strange was found just above my navel, where the pain I've been feeling (and ruling out as a gas bubble) after eating "junk" has been located. A colonoscopy and a visit to a surgeon were scheduled.
The colonoscopy happened last week, and my mother was expecting that I'd be told that I take after her, just as my two older sisters do. She has diverticulitis, as does the second eldest of my two sisters. The other sister has one step down from that, colitis. Same digestive issue, just not as severe as mom's. I'm the first one to break that trend, as all that was found was a single polyp and the hemorrhoids that I've had since I gave birth to my son. No answer about that foolish bump that appears now and then in my stomach. It isn't the painful bubble that my mom and sister tend to get.
With my dad, gram, aunt and cousin on my mind, I've been trying to remain optimistic that the little bump in my own belly is nothing to worry about, but the surgeon's appointment to discuss how to gather tissue to test is this afternoon.....
And the fear that I'm next to fight the battle four members of my family fought and lost has been hiding just below the surface, even as I try to think more about the mammogram that has yet to be scheduled.
I'm writing this post this morning as a little public "thank you" to my daughter, who has been going through her own painful gauntlet in the form of a failed marriage that only lasted three months while she lived with her husband, but has been dragging on for six months now as she waits for the final papers stating that she can start using her maiden name again. Without her helping me through a panic attack last night, I'd be a shaking mess as I wait for the time to leave for my meeting with the surgeon, to hear whether we can do a fine needle aspirate to remove a small tissue sample or whether I'm to go under the knife to discover what this little belly bump truly is....
With a little grace from The Universe, this too shall pass, and I'll still be here, blogging away, when I need a special magnifying glass to allow me to read the screen.
Besides, I'd hate to miss the mammogram. I've been practicing for it by going out to the big freezer in the garage and pressing "the girls" in the door, getting myself used to the cold and the squeezing....
The first visit to my new doctor, as I wanted one who wasn't going to just say "Take a PILL" (cue Mark Blankfield skit from Fridays: http://youtu.be/0ghh5yXlEaw), I was told that I was of that age that I needed some tests to happen. Because I've also been having some minor stomach pain - seemingly tied to the times that I opt to eat something like McDonalds instead of my normal Mediterranean-styled diet - she thought it a good idea, since my dad, an aunt, my grandmother and a cousin (all on the same side of the family) all died of a singular form of cancer that first appeared as a minor stomach issue, to arrange for an ultrasound just to be safe...
Before I left the office, I had blood drawn. Apart from a lack of red blood cells - possibly an infection I wasn't aware of - there was nothing to report.
The second visit was the ultrasound. Much to everyone's surprise, something strange was found just above my navel, where the pain I've been feeling (and ruling out as a gas bubble) after eating "junk" has been located. A colonoscopy and a visit to a surgeon were scheduled.
The colonoscopy happened last week, and my mother was expecting that I'd be told that I take after her, just as my two older sisters do. She has diverticulitis, as does the second eldest of my two sisters. The other sister has one step down from that, colitis. Same digestive issue, just not as severe as mom's. I'm the first one to break that trend, as all that was found was a single polyp and the hemorrhoids that I've had since I gave birth to my son. No answer about that foolish bump that appears now and then in my stomach. It isn't the painful bubble that my mom and sister tend to get.
With my dad, gram, aunt and cousin on my mind, I've been trying to remain optimistic that the little bump in my own belly is nothing to worry about, but the surgeon's appointment to discuss how to gather tissue to test is this afternoon.....
And the fear that I'm next to fight the battle four members of my family fought and lost has been hiding just below the surface, even as I try to think more about the mammogram that has yet to be scheduled.
I'm writing this post this morning as a little public "thank you" to my daughter, who has been going through her own painful gauntlet in the form of a failed marriage that only lasted three months while she lived with her husband, but has been dragging on for six months now as she waits for the final papers stating that she can start using her maiden name again. Without her helping me through a panic attack last night, I'd be a shaking mess as I wait for the time to leave for my meeting with the surgeon, to hear whether we can do a fine needle aspirate to remove a small tissue sample or whether I'm to go under the knife to discover what this little belly bump truly is....
With a little grace from The Universe, this too shall pass, and I'll still be here, blogging away, when I need a special magnifying glass to allow me to read the screen.
Besides, I'd hate to miss the mammogram. I've been practicing for it by going out to the big freezer in the garage and pressing "the girls" in the door, getting myself used to the cold and the squeezing....
i hope you feel better and everything turns out okay!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Sarah. Your good thoughts are added to those from my friends on Facebook - and hopefully The Universe listens to you all....
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, some very special (and very silly) friends have decided that it's NOT a hernia, it's NOT lymphoma - it's an alien, like in that famous movie with Sigourney Weaver. One friend got me laughing at work yesterday by reminding me of a scene in the Mel Brook's movie, Spaceballs, in which the alien breaks out of John Hurt's stomach, puts on a hat, and dances across a counter in a diner singing "Hello My Baby"......
*still snickering over that image*
As of this morning, the little on-again-off-again lump is gone, so I'm taking a mental health day to just take my little dog for a ride and a possible walk somewhere. Perhaps if we can find a nice, quiet spot to sit for a little bit and just listen for that little inner voice that has helped me get back on an even keel in the past, I can be ready for next week's CT scan without fear.