I'm sure there are ladies who read this blog who would gladly agree with that statement, especially those who are going through that ever-popular bane of the female existence: Menopause!
Yes, I'm THAT old, and have been having mild to moderate experiences with some of the 34 symptoms that all the doctors have been telling me about - and asking about when they see me each year. For those who don't know the list of 34, here they are in no particular order:
1. Hot Flashes - one of the most popular in all the jokes about menopause. One minute, you're comfortable. The next, you're visiting a tropical island with the sun beating down on you - and you haven't done anything to cause that temperature change.
2. Night Sweats - similar to the above, but waking the subject from a comfortable sleep for that sudden trip to the Bermuda Triangle.
3. Irregular Periods - which needs no real explanation, does it? In my case, I've been able to count out four weeks from one month to the next to be able to know almost to the exact day when my next visit from Mother Nature is going to come ever since I had an ovary removed and the other fallopian tube cut and cauterized in 1993 after my fourth miscarriage. And then I skipped past the "normal day" in December....and then did it again in January, finally getting my "visit" on January 24 - and then again on February 3rd. (I just spent an entire day being poked, prodded, having blood drawn and undergoing an ultrasound, as the last "visit" is still going on....to the point that I'm even having a dizzy spell as I sit here typing this. Later, I need to get squeezed in to see a specialist to go over what all of the poking and prodding shows.)
4, Loss of Libido - um.....yeah. Kind of wishing that this would hit the man in my life, but.... *laughing*
5. Vaginal Dryness - and this one I won't even comment on.... *smile*
6. Mood Swings - Let's not go here, either. I'm not sure I should put in writing where I want to wrap the chain from my mood swing at times, in other words......
7. Fatigue. (And I just thought I was pushing myself too hard....)
8. Hair Loss or Thinning - and to my husband, I'm truly sorry for all the hairy sandwiches I've put into your lunch pail over the past couple of years. No matter how I roll up my hair into a baseball hat, this is becoming a bigger problem each morning. (Maybe I should consider just shaving my head?)
9. Sleep Disorders - as if the insomnia I've suffered through my whole life isn't disruptive enough?
10. Difficulty Concentrating - now, where was I going with this?
11. Memory Lapses - I think, therefore I can't think......lol
12. Dizziness - as opposed to my normal dizzy self?
13. Weight Gain - which, obviously, wasn't just because I was sitting behind a desk? (I went back into a more physical job to combat this one, so it doesn't NEED to happen if one is diligent.)
14. Incontinence - No comment.....
15. Bloating - Again, no comment......
16. Allergies - I've always been allergic to all kinds of things, so this isn't new.
17. Brittle Nails - again, I just thought I was having to trim off "torn spots" because of the job I've been doing.
18. Changes in Body Odor - Ahah! Again, I thought I was imagining that my deodorant was failing me!
19. Irregular Heartbeat - So this doesn't have anything to do with the Pulminary Arterio Tachycardia I was diagnosed with in my mid-twenties?
20. Depression.
21. Anxiety
22. Irritability.
23. Panic Disorder - all four of these I've thought came with the vagina, as I've had all of these since before Mother Nature decided that I really was a woman and needed the breasts to pop out.....
24. Breast Pain - and here I've been blaming my Shih Tzu/Pomeranian for standing on the nipples when I wake up with them hurting.....or I've been joking that I must have stood on one myself when sliding out of bed still half asleep.....
25. Headaches - again, different from the ones I get from stress every day how?
26. Joint Pain - another "Ahah", as I've been insisting that the arthritis I have from being less than kind to my hands when I was younger is simply getting worse.
27. Burning Tongue - which I thought was because I overdid the spice in that last batch of Jambalaya and my husband insisted was the andouille sausage, so is he going through menopause, too?
28,. Electric Shock Sensation - and once again, I thought that this had no relation to my menopause, as we get the electric shock sensation every winter until I get the humidifiers filled and working.
29. Digestive Problems - Another one of those "symptoms" that I had written off to other issues, such as the bad habits I got into while working a desk job.
30. Gum Problems - which was another thing I wrote off to genetics. My dad had all his teeth pulled when joining the Navy to fight in Korea, as that was one of the ways that the Koreans "punished" those captured on the battlefield. Mom also had bad teeth. So when I went for dentures due to all my teeth breaking into bits when I was 50, I just thought I was like my parents, not that I was beginning menopause....
31/ Muscle Tension - as opposed to the pains from working too hard?
32. Itchy, Crawly Skin - it's NOT a psychosomatic reaction to seeing a tick on my husband or dog? Imagine that!
33. Tingling Extremities - With nerve damage from a back injury, this has also been ongoing for 20 years now.....
34. Osteiporosis - seeing my mom "shrinking" because hers is so severe that she has developed a hump, I was again writing this off to genetics....
If any of you would like to see this list without my commentary, the link is here: http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/ In the meantime, I'm out of work until Monday because my latest visit from Mother Nature doesn't want to end, I've been horribly light headed for several days (which worries the doctors when they hear that I have to climb ladders on the job), and there is talk of beginning me on hormone therapy.
Maybe it's time to pull out the soundtrack for Menopause, The Musical and start learning some of the songs while I'm being kept home until the medroxyprogesterone that I was prescribed yesterday takes effect.
And of course, I have a new adult coloring book that I recently purchased that can entertain me for a while while I watch some of the cartoon that I've been getting on dvd and blue ray for my grandkids....
Just because it's become obvious that I'm going through menopause, that doesn't mean I have to grow up, does it???
30. Gum Problems - which was another thing I wrote off to genetics. My dad had all his teeth pulled when joining the Navy to fight in Korea, as that was one of the ways that the Koreans "punished" those captured on the battlefield. Mom also had bad teeth. So when I went for dentures due to all my teeth breaking into bits when I was 50, I just thought I was like my parents, not that I was beginning menopause....
31/ Muscle Tension - as opposed to the pains from working too hard?
32. Itchy, Crawly Skin - it's NOT a psychosomatic reaction to seeing a tick on my husband or dog? Imagine that!
33. Tingling Extremities - With nerve damage from a back injury, this has also been ongoing for 20 years now.....
34. Osteiporosis - seeing my mom "shrinking" because hers is so severe that she has developed a hump, I was again writing this off to genetics....
If any of you would like to see this list without my commentary, the link is here: http://www.34-menopause-symptoms.com/ In the meantime, I'm out of work until Monday because my latest visit from Mother Nature doesn't want to end, I've been horribly light headed for several days (which worries the doctors when they hear that I have to climb ladders on the job), and there is talk of beginning me on hormone therapy.
Maybe it's time to pull out the soundtrack for Menopause, The Musical and start learning some of the songs while I'm being kept home until the medroxyprogesterone that I was prescribed yesterday takes effect.
And of course, I have a new adult coloring book that I recently purchased that can entertain me for a while while I watch some of the cartoon that I've been getting on dvd and blue ray for my grandkids....
Just because it's become obvious that I'm going through menopause, that doesn't mean I have to grow up, does it???
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