It's not a four letter word, but it's one of those cuss words in my vocabulary - and it seems I'm not the only creative mind to have it. It seems that most of my favorite authors find themselves having nights when the story doesn't want to stop long enough to let the mind refresh. The same is true of a lot of the artists I know.
Is insomnia one of the side effects of the wiring that makes creative people different, or is it just a part of the human state that defies explanation? Are all people closet insomniacs to some degree?
Those are the kind of thoughts that keep running through my head as I sit, the television blaring some form of mindless entertainment in the background that doesn't seem to want to hold my interest, with an alcoholic beverage in hand that I'm hoping is going to eventually shut down my brain functions and allow me to sleep, while I search random things on the internet.
Among last night's searches:
Colonoscopy (because I'm at that age when my doctor's office seems to think I need a screening. My sister HATED having hers done, so that was the only personal experience I'd heard about.)
Tai Chi instruction on You Tube (because my ancient body comes home from my retail job in pain - thus the alcoholic beverage of choice last night in an effort to deaden the aches so that I could find rest)
Random music sampling (I started off with The Gorillaz because I just bought one of their albums, then cruised through rap, country, pop, 80's, and continued on, clicking a selection from the "suggested" list that You Tube does until I started to get bored)
Dog grooming techniques (because my daughter had rescued a little Shih Tzu mix who is currently living with us, and he jumped up for some snuggles. I noticed that he's developed little matts under his "arm pits" and behind his ears that make the OCD inside me cringe. "There's GOT to be a way to get rid of those without constantly having to hold him down and trim them out!" thought I.)
Of course, if I hadn't just sent off the latest editing result on "The Tiger's Cub" to the publisher yesterday morning, I may have had another character speaking with me by the time I started the "random search", so I COULD have been writing something - or editing something - or doing anything other than eventually finding myself back at Dylan Griner's Photogenics page (http://www.photogenicsmedia.com/models/men/portfolio/dylangriner/) to look at the model whose face most reminds me of the character I've most recently worked with. (And here, for those who haven't followed the links to the videos or my Facebook fan page, is what the Chase Benton in my head:)
So, while I'm sitting here typing this blog, waiting for the sun to dry up some of the dew on the flower garden so that I can pull some grass and weeds that have taken over because of the excessively rainy summer we've had in Maine so that I can maybe tire myself out to the point that I can get some decent sleep tonight, the thought that kept me awake last night keeps coming back again:
Is chronic insomnia normal for those whose lives are taken over by characters like Chase Benton, or does everyone have a little closet insomniac tucked somewhere in their brain?
insomnia is the worst. thankfully, i've only had a few bad bouts of it in my life. i'm more prone to stress dreams, though, which can be just as exhausting sometimes. i'm not sure what, if any, connection there is between creativity and insomnia. one of my friends has had chronic insomnia for as long as i've known her, and she is neither a writer nor an artist. it's an interesting thought, though.
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