It's the most wonderful time of the year.....

Yes, I know.  All of my more Christian friends are going to be giving me grief over THAT title, but didn't I already do a post about being wired differently than most people?

I've often wondered whether my love of Halloween came from some inner wiring that has always loved the idea of being someone - or something - else for a time or whether, perhaps, it's because my grandmother passed away on Halloween in 1967 and I just have grasped it as a kind of memorial thing for her.  After all, one of the few recollections I have of Grammy Dow is going in to see her, all dressed up for Halloween, while she was in her bed, too sick to get up but too stubborn to not see her grandchildren and personally give them a treat.  Then again, when I was in high school, I decided I wanted to be an actress as my post-graduation career because I loved to get into a costume and let another character take over my life for a brief time.

Today, I'll be going into my job at Staples as a gypsy.  Because I have to climb ladders to get the stock to put out on the shelves, my gypsy skirt will have a set of leggings and thigh-high boots under it so that anyone on the floor will only see pant legs instead of my panties should they try to look up my skirt.  Because there is a rule against wearing anything risqué, I went and visited former co-workers at Macy's yesterday and got a gypsy-looking shirt that is higher cut on the neckline than the originally planned low cut shirt and corset look (which I'll still be wearing to a friend's party on Saturday, but not to work).

Here are a few of my favorite costumes of the past years with a little explanation of what the thought was behind them:

 

The aliens are attacking - my hair!!!  (The alien bug-eyes are a head band I picked up at a costume shop, and the purple wig made me think of Marge Simpson.  Inside the wig, there was also a voice changing gadget, and when I wanted the alien to "talk", there was a little microphone next to my left ear.  I would pull down the microphone and let the alien "speak" from time to time....)

 

 

When doing some renovations, my husband found a truly HUGE pair of coveralls under a bathroom floor.  After a thorough cleaning, I used them as my costume that year, with a pillow stuffed down my front and a pillow stuffed down my back to make me look twice as large around as I really was.  Pigtails, a blacked-out tooth, and freckles completed the "Fryeburg's Beauty Queen" look.  (I won a prize from my work place for most original costume that year.....)

 

And then there's this one, which is my absolute favorite of all the costumes over the years:  The punk band that was formed by myself (in the middle), my husband (the guitar player) and my brother.  It was the early 80's.  Wendy O. Williams, Devo, and other such bands were big.  We probably caused a hole in the ozone ourselves with the use of hair spray and spray-in hair color that year - and the name of the band is STILL rude enough that I don't want to spell it out for you here.  (Ask me to message you in private if you REALLY must know....*grin*)

 

Of course, my yard also gets totally decked out, although I've toned it down a little with the grandkids having to come in.  (There were several years that we had NO trick or treaters on the dark road we live on, so I had started to go a bit over-the-top.)  Give the youngest "injun" a couple more years to get used to her Yamma's strange sense of humor and I can start putting out things like zombie gnomes eating a flamingo yard ornament, the Crypt Keeper and Freddie Krueger (jump suits filled with leaves and old masks from former costumes put into play) romping together, etc......

 

So even though I've opted to let the characters take me over when I'm writing, I still like getting into a costume and becoming someone else for one day out of every year....

 

And since I borrowed a line from a Christmas tune, I guess I'll have to do another blog about my feelings about an overly commercialized holiday that makes normally sane people go out at midnight on the day after Thanksgiving and beat each other to a pulp over television sets, cameras and game stations.....

 

Or is that last paragraph more than enough to convey my feelings?

 

Happy Halloween - or Samhain, if you prefer the Wiccan name for it - everyone!!

What I Did With My Summer Vacation....

I hate having to write something structured, something demanded, not by me, but by someone I have to deal with.  It doesn't matter what that structured page is.  I equally abhor the resume and the press release, the thesis and the creative writing assignment.  I particularly hated the first thing a lot of English teachers did, year after year, expecting great writing from a bunch of grade school kids forced to tell about a summer in which a lot of fun was had - but nothing that should be related to an adult.....

I am much more comfortable on those days when I can sit down, do a little stretch to get comfortable, and open a blank screen.  A deep breath or two, and a character steps forward.  I listen for a short time as they tell me their story, showing me pieces in my mind's eye - and then I begin.

Not so with the press release I'm currently trying to find the words for.

It's been a couple of years since the last press release.  It's not something I write on a regular basis, so I always have to do some reading before I begin.  What is the current trend for the information needed?  Does one include social media mentions on where fans can locate "the merchandise" (in this case, the author as the "product")? 

I have a list.  I have some ideas on how to present the information.  I go over the list again.  I sit down, I stretch, I open the blank page......and NOTHING.  Not a single word comes to me.

"Just the facts, ma'am." says a voice from the old show, Dragnet, in the back of my head.

I write the facts.  It's a couple of paragraphs.  It's as dry as a piece of cold toast.  The only ones who will be inspired by this are probably accountants, staring at numbers all day in a back room with no human contact all day....

"Sell it, girl!" I mutter to myself, and the only other thing that comes to mind is the old Snake Oil Salesman:  "Step right up!  Get your chance to buy this miracle elixir for all that ails ya!"

I am is SO much trouble right now!!

A four-letter word with six letters: CANCER

October here in the United States is now National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  In stores, along with the Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas items to prepare us all for "The Holiday Season", one sees a lot of pink.

But for someone with MY family history, October is also a month when the ancient belief when the thinning of the veil between this world and the next also allows me to see the members of my family that have gone before, many of whom passed with some form of cancer.  I don't just think of breast cancer, but also of these:

Lymphoma - cancer of the lymph nodes, which was diagnosed in my father, his sister, and her eldest son (my cousin), and possibly was the same cancer that took my Grammy Dow on Halloween in 1967.  (Gram was never officially diagnosed as to which type she had, since she didn't have insurance nor the money to afford the treatments of the time, so she was just kept as painless as possible....)

Melanoma - skin cancer, which has marked many family members over the years.

Myeloma - a cancer that starts in the plasma cells in bone marrow.  An aunt is fighting this as we speak.

Lung cancer - self explanatory, and another one that has taken a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins.

And that's just the ones that come to me as I sit here finishing my second cup of coffee of the morning. 

I'm not writing this because I'm looking for your pity, but rather, as an introduction to a heart-rending message I received this week from one of the readers of my blog.  Her message touched on my own personal loss, but also brings with it a message of hope.  Here is the link to Heather's story about mesothelioma that I ask you to watch:  http://www.mesothelioma.com/heather/#.UmfA3x3D-01

So, why am I writing this blog this morning?  It's really very simple.

If you can afford to make monetary donations to cancer research - or, if other diseases such as Cerebral Palsy (I had a friend with that), or Cystic Fibrosis (a brother-in-law had that), or Diabetes (a LOT of my friends have that) are closer to your heart - DONATE!  With enough funding for research, we may eventually see cures being found for some of the nastier things that can happen to a human.

If you can't donate, PRAY.  Pray for those who have diseases that are taking over their lives, and pray for those who are forced to watch a loved one suffer.

Above all, pass on messages from people like Heather so that more people will become aware of the signs to watch for and will go visit their doctor before the disease progresses to the point that there is no hope for them.

Thank you for reading my very serious message, and for putting me to the point of having 600 visits to my blog in just 4 months.

Blessed be!

The pause that refreshes

The first order has been made and filled.
The first autographed books have been delivered to the post office.
It was a day to pause, clear my mind, and prepare for my step back in time to a story I know like the back of my hand, but have never finished writing....

So naturally, I went and checked out a few blogs of writers whom I admire......

Stephen King has a new book out called "Doctor Sleep".  Having read everything else he's ever written since I pulled "Carrie" off the library shelf in high school, I'll probably read that.  I move on.

A couple of blogs down from Mr. King are a couple of entries from another favorite writer who lives in Maine:  William Kotzwinkle.  (Yes, I hear a lot of voices from past mentions of that name in my head.  The voices ask in unison: "Who??")

William Kotzwinkle, author of "ET, The Extraterrestrial", "Walter, The Farting Dog" and "The Fan Man".

A lot of people recognize the first book.  It was made into a pretty popular movie.

A lot of parents who encourage reading recognize the second one.  Either they love it because their children read it and giggle a lot, or they hate it because their children read it and giggle a lot. 

The third book gets me a lot of head tilts and confused looks.  Very few people, man, have heard of "The Fan Man", a marvelous tale about Horse Badorties, man, and his adventures in New York, man.  For those who've met Horse, man, this will be a great revisiting with an old friend.  For those who haven't met him, this will be a fun introduction to a great character, man.

http://kotzwinkle.com/blog/the-fan-man-smoothie/

Off again to the real world.  Peace, out!

Cheaper than going to a gym

I had a little epiphany about a week ago when I neglected to do all my laundry and had to wear a pair of my elastic-waist pants to my job at Staples.  Without the belt that is a required part of the uniform for any pair of dress pants that has belt loops, I was constantly pulling my pants back up to where they're supposed to sit.

Now, I'm not someone who never gets on a scale, but, like Aloriah in "The Tiger's Cub", I didn't equate the lowering numbers on the scale and the slowly changing dimensions of my body to the need to check my clothing size.  Over the past several years that I was working as a veterinary receptionist, I had been watching my weight slowly climb, and when my clothing would get too tight for me to continue to work comfortably, I would grudgingly go up to the next size scrub.  When I got up into a size 14 and was heading toward a size 16, I started policing every bite that went into my mouth, started doing things like Yoga and walking for extra exercise, but didn't seem to be able to stop gaining.

Then I quit my job at the veterinary office a year ago, finally figuring out how much the stress I was under was hurting my health, both mentally and physically.  When I got a "holiday" job at the local Macy's, I went to my local Goodwill (because I HATE buying clothing at full price) and picked up a couple of pairs of black dress pants, two with belt loops and one with an elastic waist.  The size 14 pants fit skin tight, involved me holding my breath to get the zipper up and the buttons at the top hooked, but I also had purchased a black suit jacket to go with them to hide the little bit of a muffin top look I was sporting.  My thought at the time was that, because the retail job was more physically active than what I had been doing for the past 10 years, I would start to lose weight.  Of course, because they also allowed skirts to be worn, I used my supply of black skirts for those days when I felt particularly bloated, as they were loose over the area that I was most self-conscious about.

My theories about why I wasn't losing weight at the veterinary office have obviously been proven correct. 

The easing of the stress was an almost immediately noticeable change.  Between quitting one job and being hired for the next one, I spent a lot of time walking my daughter's dog while she was in her college classes, and each day, I felt a little more of the mental weight I had been living under ease.  By the time Christmas rolled around, I was getting up each morning willing to face the day instead of wanting to crawl under a rock and never see the light of day again.  As time has gone on, I find myself more apt to roll my eyes and grumble "Seriously?" when something upsets me at home instead of wanting to go out and shoot something over the same minor issue.  As an old toothpaste commercial's tagline used to say, "It's a great feeling."

Then there's the physical aspect of the retail jobs.  At Macy's, I was primarily putting clothing back out onto the racks from the fitting rooms.  When I first started there, I would wake up every morning "feeling the burn" - mostly in my arms and lower back.  I had started to notice a slow reduction in belly fat in my mirror when I got out of the shower, and each time I put on my dress pants, it was less of a struggle to get them zipped and buttoned.  By the time I saw an opening at Staples - which is closer to my house, therefore cutting out 30 miles of travel each day one way - my business suit was fitting in the way that it should fit.

Staples has proven to be more active than Macy's was.  Each week, they get a shipment of plastic totes filled with products that need to be brought from the back room out to the racks.  Some of the totes are light, others can weigh up to 50 pounds.  A recent change from my only working the front end (cash registers and taking care of the food and ink that came in) to being cross trained to work in office supplies (basically taking care of all the products on one half of the store) means that I'm getting a more "all over the body" workout while at work - so after an 8 hour shift unloading a pallet and sorting product according to which aisle it needed to go to, I'm "feeling the burn" over my entire body, but it's a good kind of a burn....

Which brings me back to the elastic waist pants that I had to keep pulling up last week.

The two pairs of dress pants that I own, both size 14, have a belt that keeps them where I need them to be, but I started stressing a little about not being able to wear the elastic waist pants on the days that I'm doing office supply and my dress pants are both dirty.  I took a little trip into the local Goodwill and pulled a bunch of black dress pants off the rack to try on, some in a size 14 and some, just for the jollies, in a size 12.  Like a scene I describe between Chase and Aloriah, I was expecting to not be disgusted.  Instead, I found myself in shock.

The size 14 pants, when tugged gently, slid down to an indecent level on my hips - even the pair that had a waist that I would have sworn would have stayed at my waist level.  Then I tried the size 12 pants.  Wonder of wonders, I didn't have to hold my breath to zip and button them, the waistband didn't feel like it was trying to cut off my breathing, and when I tugged gently, they stayed right where they should.

Convinced that I had somehow managed to find a size 12 that was cut to be closer to a size 14, I put the 14's back onto the rack to be returned and grabbed a few more pairs of size 12's - not really finding more than the one pair that would be "work suitable", but just trying to prove a point to myself.  Every pair of size 12 pants fit around my waist the same way, and as I walked out to make my purchase, I was in awe.  It really WAS my work situation that was making me keep getting fatter despite the healthy diet and exercise!!

By the time I got home, excitement had taken hold.  Since the size 12 pants already fit like the size 14 pants did when I first started working at Staples in June, I'm hoping that I can continue to improve my body and get down to a size 10 in a reasonable amount of time (which is where I was when I first started working in the veterinary field).

My advice to those who, like me, find themselves on a diet and exercising, but unable to lose weight?  Consider the mental aspect of your life.  What might be causing stress in your world?  Is it something absolutely necessary for you to live, or can you eliminate it and do something else, as I did when I quit a stressful job and got into something that has me almost stress free?

I'm hoping next year to be able to post some bathing suit photos to my Facebook account along with a new pic of the wet suit I wear when I go out in my kayak, which I've been calling my "sausage suit" because it has always felt like I'm stuffing a sausage when I try to zip into it.  Maybe by next year, to paraphrase a Plasmatics tune called "Monkey Suit", in my sausage suit I won't feel like a sausage...... 

The light at the end of the tunnel isn't ALWAYS a train....

Just got a GREAT email!

For those who live in the Portland, Maine area, I've been granted an hour in the Portland Public Library's Local Artist series.  Come visit me from noon to 1 p.m. in Meeting Room #5 on Friday, February 28th......

A quick update for those who are waiting.....

I'm still waiting for confirmation that the corrected file of "The Tiger's Cub" has been "found" by the printer and that the books I order for those who want "signed author" copies will be the best version available.  I also haven't had confirmation of the date that the ebook version will be available, so as far as I know, that's still a November 1st release.

In the meantime, I've been chatting with another author friend about doing the sci-fi/fantasy book as an Indie release, as he's done that with his books.  Considering the numerous gaffs on "Cub" that have kept me from moving on to the next Great American Novel, I've only been adding model pictures to the new Facebook page, having chosen to just name the new book after the main character instead of continuing to try to come up with another title for it that hasn't already been used.

If you're interested, you can check out the "character images" for the book I've titled "Rhawneth" here: https://www.facebook.com/Rhawneth

OR you can get a little taste of the story line (and possibly give me alternate ideas for the character images) by visiting my page at The Northern Bard here:  http://galadriel_emmons.tripod.com/Rhawneth.html

For those who have been waiting patiently for the release of "The Tiger's Cub", I thank you for your patience, and will hopefully be able to post my link to my PayPal account soon.  Please feel free to drop me a private message at any time at debi_emmons@yahoo.com


{ADDENDUM 10/3:  Seems that publically announcing this was the catalyst for my publisher to send the printers the "corrected file" again, so I've been assured that, in just a few days, they should be able to start producing the version that has Chase "Lying on his bed" instead of improperly "Laying on his bed" (among other such stupid things that got missed in the first couple of edits).  I've attached a PayPal link to the web page that has the first three chapters of "The Tiger's Cub" to introduce the two main characters, so please feel free to place an order for a signed author's copy through http://galadriel_emmons.tripod.com/tigercub.html.

Thank you, as always, for reading and/or commenting on my blog posts.  I'm going to apologize in advance for the fact that I'm about to start the next phase of training at my "day job" at Staples and will be able to start concentrating more on Rhawneth, so the blog entries may be less frequent.  )However, if you have a pressing subject you would like a post written about, I'm all ears......]